01/Feb/2015 // 116 ViewersOne small spark, then the pregnancy, the baby, the teenage years, adulthood and finally, leaving home. And the cycle is repeated all over again. Easy as it sounds, in reality, just the months of expecting may seem like forever, if a couple is weighed down by the stress of expecting.
Nurturing a relationship is enough hard work, with all the perks and gains attached. However, when a ‘third party’ is on the way, it becomes a different story entirely. As much as it doesn’t seem to bubble to the surface, considering the sensitive nature of the argument, it is imperative for the couple to consciously work towards enjoying their union, even with the stress that comes with it. As Catherine Jones affirms, “Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain - your life will never be the same.”
As much as a couple tries, pregnancy will alter their lives and it is important that the couple channel their energy into improving the relationship. According to Heidi Murkoff, author of What to Expect When You’re Expecting, certain things should be taken into consideration during pregnancy to help the relationship.
See your spouse as a romantic partner
It is enough that the belly will come between the both of you but that should be the most that would physically divide the couple. According to Murkoff, “The first thing you need to do is to start thinking of yourselves as a couple again – instead of just a couple of parents (or a couple of parents-to-be). Of course, you’ll want to focus plenty of attention on your pregnancy, and on your baby-to-be – that’s great, as long as you also remember to keep your relationship front-and-center (no back burner for your love life). Couples should, of course, nurture the pregnancy and baby-to-be, but don’t forget to take the time to – and put the effort into – nurturing each other. Your baby doesn’t have to come between you (though your belly definitely will).”
“Now’s a good time to start a weekly date night – something you’d be smart to continue after baby’s on board,” Murkoff suggests. Scheduling romantic outings helps to create a relaxed atmosphere for the couple and for the baby. It will not only help the relationship but the health lifestyle of the individuals involved. The important thing is to be up-to-date on the meals and drinks to avoid during pregnancy.
Try something sweetly different
Spontaneity is necessary in a relationship when the couple is expecting. It not only adds spice but helps the individuals to feel appreciated at all times. As Heidi notes, “Sometimes (make that, as often as you can), for absolutely no reason at all, surprise your partner with a come-from-behind squeeze, a weekend afternoon delight, a compliment that makes him blush. Feel free to get frisky (and adventurous!). Just make sure you keep pregnancy sex safe for your baby and pleasurable for both of you.
“Amp up the passion! Leave him suggestive (or X-rated) messages that he’ll find in his pocket when he reaches in for change and that will make him think of you (and think of you, and think of you).”
Another way to shoot romance to the high heavens is to plan a romantic getaway before the baby arrives. However, Murkoff cautions that “if you plan to fly during your pregnancy just get the okay from your doctor before you hit the open skies. Pick a place with comfortable beds and room service.”
Make natal trips pleasurable
Ultrasound appointments, exercise classes, compulsory walks, shopping for baby items, with time, take its toll on the couple. A spouse can make these seemingly endless appointments activities to look forward to by going to a movie afterwards or lunch at a favourite spot. Just stopping to admire nature can also turn out to be much fun, even with busy schedules. It all takes some form of strict commitment.
“Keep your relationship (and romance) first and foremost during pregnancy. Don’t just e-mail him 20 times a day to ask him if he’s remembered to pick up the dry cleaning or those paint samples for the nursery; e-mail him sometimes just to tell him you love him — and that you can’t wait to see him.
“Communication is always important in a relationship, but it’s
especially essential for couples during pregnancy (thanks to their
quickly-changing dynamic). Be sure to talk through changes instead of
just letting them happen. And keep those lines of communication open
even once the baby’s on the scene, when talking – at least, hearing each
other over the sound of the baby crying – will be especially
challenging but more important than ever),” Murkoff notes.